My dreams have consisted of bloody murder, torture, lack of humanity…such as children making friends with only people they want to see die. I don’t believe before a couple nights ago I dreamt of someone being caught on fire while hanging from a tree.
While that may be disturbing, what is more disturbing is the filthy dream I had about making out with this utter piece of scum. Seriously. I’d rather swallow glass mixed with feces than ever do that in real life.
Now I am watching When A Stranger Calls, the original one of course. Let’s face it, the remake sucked donkey balls.
A video of Rocket trying to kill me:
You can go to youtube.com and felisays is where all my other cat videos are. YES CAT VIDEOS. I have VIDEOS of my CATS! I’m definitely not like other girls. I don’t take strip tease videos. Lame. Cat videos are so much more entertaining and less likely to cause blue balls.
So I am watching Don’t Look In The Basement. Since about a year ago, I’ve stopped being so into horror films and all of that. They are no longer interesting. These campy ones, however, from the seventies and eighties, really grab my attention especially when it’s either watch them or clean my room.
Interruption:WTF
Every year, well about every year, I go through a phase where I start hacking off connections to people like one would hack off limbs. Useless limbs. I group people into the following categories:
- Entertaining with a group
- Entertaining with a group but too much drama
- Too much drama (Melodramatic)
- Trustworthy and Loyal
- Whiny
- Pain in the Ass
- Impending Bad Intentions
- Friend Gone Acquaintance
While it hurts to remove some of these people, it’s for the best. it’s like a kid whining about a tattered old blanket. It’s a bitch to wash and it really provides no warmth. Plus the dog likes to pee on it. Get rid of it, it’s useless.
I have my close, lovely and lovable friends who I’d do practically anything for and those are the same people who have been there for me through the thickest bullshit imaginable, no matter how far the drive or how mutilated the body. (Metaphors mostly.)
Now, you don’t walk up to such people and say, “Hey you thought we were friends right? Well fuck you and enjoy the rest of your life.” The FELI approach is to just stop trying, stop caring, and let it go. Of course, I can never really let go of anything. Once I know another human being, I am apt to care on some level, even if it’s only to the extent of not wishing him or her bodily harm and wishing them a happy life. There is probably only one person I would tell to go to hell if he asked for help. Possibly two. With all of that said, I renounce several “friendships” and move on with my life.
Something that has actually come up a lot is the idea that I am “evil.” Exes and ex-friends alike prefer this description and I find it completely inaccurate. For once, it would be nice to remember for all of the good I’ve done instead of the minor bad I’ve committed. Morons.
Back to working on the site.
Weeks have been flipped. D has a new schedule, new position, and this has caused a new arrangement of homework assignments as well as relationship time. I also signed up for two more classes and I’ll be signing up for a new one soon. My weekend has consisted of registering for more classes and taking D lunch at work. Mostly I’ve been sitting around watching Rod Sterling’s Night Gallery. The kiddo has been down a week and DAMN does she have a foul mouth. I am tolerant, as much as I can be anyway, because I was a loud mouth when I was about that age. I said all kinds of rude things to teachers, parents, the principal. Merrily, merrily..
I need a vacation.
Speedracer = Awesome. Sushi - early dinner 5:30 or 6. Generally we take a nap from 6 to 9 or even 11 PM once.. then we go to a movie. Things started early Friday.
I went to see my mom yesterday morning. We got there at 10ish (Rita and I). Prison sucks. There were pigeons running around, they were so fat I thought they were chickens at first. The police officer who checked us in had a rockabilly haircut, I was weirded out by the make-up in contrast with the police uniform. Back to the pigeons, some of them were missing a foot or leg and one looked like it had took a dip in vegetable oil. The lack of limbs is due to the razor, not barb, wire along the top of the fences. I guess they removed the fried bodies of the birds that fell victim to the electric fence.. Don’t worry..They turned it off while visitors were there.
It was kind of windy and I felt something whack me in the pant leg…My first thought was PIGEON ATTACK! It turned out just to be a bag of cheez-its that had be blown off of another table behind us. I did a girl dance..
By the time we got back from the prison and eating pasta at Oregano’s, I passed out on for a couple hours. The sun makes me so tired. Tubing next Saturday!
Finally. I mean school wasn’t terrible nor has college ever been a terrible experience except for that one semester where I kind of had a mental breakdown and stopped showing up.. That wasn’t because of school though, that was because I had several douchebags to “be in love with” so to speak.
I’m getting off topic here. We were at Macaroni Grill on Saturday picking up our carry-out and there was a little brat screaming bloody murder and it wasn’t just once. It was one, two, three, four, I lost count how many times she shrieked. Shockingly enough (or not so much).. This observation as well as several other observations over the last three or four months have pushed me into flipping my major back towards English with Concentration on Creative Writing. I’ll then move on to my MFA and if I feel like it, then I’ll teach. I want to do what I love.. I’ve never met an English class I didn’t love (with the exception of English 101 GAG me)..
I have started the process of attempting to contact some of my previous instructors for letters of recommendation. I’ve been a good, outspoken student after the initial shyness wore off and most of my instructors remember me simply for my sarcasm. Ah. Two whole weeks off before I start summer classes. Chemistry, Communications, and some lame computer class that is necessary for a core credit. (Lame!!!)
My face is hurting on the left side (day 3!), time to head out.
Rocket escaped about 20 minutes ago, however, we found him sitting on a piece of cement, debating whether he wanted to put his foot on the grass or in the dirt. The cat doesn’t get out that much. We brought him back inside and he ran around the house like some schizophrenic milkshake in space. Then he tried to bite me. Probably going to give himself a cat heart attack or something.
I’m in a pretty great mood besides the fact that I have a jillion things to do this weekend with finals approaching and somewhere to be on Saturday. I don’t understand the theme of caring but hey, it’s there. I have to deal with it. Caring about people reminds me that I’m human. Being able to forgive reminds me that there is a God. It’s tubing season on top of that and the little sister’s plane ticket is purchased. She’ll be here in about a month. Damien and I are signing up for one of our summer classes tomorrow and then we have to sign up for one more and I’ll have one more individually. Followed by 12 hours next semester. Must finish must finish.
The race to the finals of the semester is always exhausting, exhilarating, and time seems to stand very still. We have studying to do this weekend, movies to watch, naps to take. I am trying to arrange for the little sister to come visit and coincide it with my returning to North Dakota in the middle of July. Plus I have to find a new apartment, sign the new lease, register for three summer classes and submit my application to ASU for Elementary Education. I am still trying to decide on which photo gallery software to use (or which ONES) for the website not to mention I’ve had no time to finish and won’t until next Wednesday.
Tonight Rita and I did our healthcare provider CPR certification and that was a good three hours of my time tonight. Tomorrow I have to complete all of my projects for my EDU 222 classes and start wading through my Psychology study notes. Madness. I tell you.. :)
I had a DEEP cleaning today. That entails needles and numb stuff. My face feels swollen and I just tried to eat a Twix and there is a seeming impossibility in doing so. I can’t talk either. I keep saying things like… I don’t know but it doesn’t come out right. I sound like that girl from The Other Sister and so I’m sitting here trying not to drool all over myself. Amusing! Not so much since I’m starving. This is all.
I have had the weirdest sense of guilt today and all because I was talking to someone about cats that beat the crap out of dogs and I started talking about Stubbie.
Stubbie was a little girl cat we adopted when I was fourteen. She had a little inch of a tail and the name that was given to her was given by her previous owners (people we attended church with). Anyway, Stubbie started to become a badass. She reminded me of a chick from the movie Flash Dance. She was scarred up from laying the smack down on the other neighborhood cats.
Stubbie was a sweet little cat until she had kittens and then Shortie, my Sheltie, tried to play with the kittens and Stubbie practically tried to scratch his eyes out. What made me sad to think about was the day we had to get rid of her. My dad had married the twins’ mother and for whatever reason we had to get rid of the rest of our cats (two left). Stubbie tried to run from the animal catcher guy but he ended up catching her. I remember how she seemed to look at me and she looked so betrayed. That’s what made me feel crappy today even though it wasn’t really my decision.
Alas, what we have today is a man who used a starving dog as a piece of his artwork in Costa Rica. Maybe that’s what triggered it. Animal cruelty makes me terribly sick to my stomach and I was really angry by the end of the day today. Probably because of this stuff. Stubbie and the starved dog. Poor guys.
